I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
