Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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