id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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