I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
