I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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