I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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