if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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