Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
