How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
