My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
