Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
