what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Your cock deserves a montage
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
