you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize