He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
