I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
