Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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