Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize