Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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