Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize