i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
