One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
