Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I bet he comes in French.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize