Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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