someone threw a dead crab at me
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
