I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
