Sry I called you an 8
Acid is not a monday night drug
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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