16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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