I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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