does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
