I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
