me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
