i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
