When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
