He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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