that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
