I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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