grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You smell like a Billy Joel song
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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