She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
barbara walters just said penis...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
These tits shall not be calmed
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
