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You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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