In the future we'll all be gay
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
