He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
