so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
