Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
