Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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