she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
