I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
