when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
