I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
