I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
