It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
