I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
