i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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