My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
