you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
