i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
