Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
