I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
