If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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