don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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