There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
