i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
